Sorry English: A Shrine to Jun Urbano Reyes and His Works
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Climbing the Corporate Ladder
On pages 69-70, Jun advises his readers about "Climbing the Corporate Ladder." Here are some extracts:
In the corporate world, there is the ladder of success, but there are questions to consider such as; is there a secret in climbing the corporate ladder? What are the qualities needed for one to go up?
[Your resume] must be at least two pages
... continue associating with influential people, eltting them know your skills and capabilities. They are source [sic] of offers.
Include all important success qualities. To vie all other factors to climbt he corporate ladder, consider enthusiasm, self-confidence, pleasing personality, faith and belief, persistence, self-discipline, going the extra mile, goal-oriented, personal intitiative, concentration, positive self-image, accurate thinking, empathy, learning from defeat,and importantly, sound helath.
It's not really that easy climbing the corporate ladder, but you can be there and when you are there, give 100% of your heart to your job and service to others.
Apparently, our dear friend Jun has moved to the City of Malabon University. I've never heard of the institution, but hiring him definitely does not speak well of the university administration!
Sorry for being away for so long. The real world kept me from updating Sorry English.
Here's a new quote from Page 56 of Business Communication. For best results, read out loud, with feeling.....
Dearest Rachel Ann,
I won't say, "You shouldn't have done it," knowing that's a worn out expression, but I will say that you were so generous that you took our breath away, accustomed as we are to your generosity. The members of my family are all delighted to the gift you gave-we all thank you and they are separately writing you too, special thanks for the clutch bag. It will always remind me of you, whenever I carry it.
I hope to see you soon.
All my love,
Ralph
Dear Jeaneth,
You always were my favorite friend, and the reason is simple-there is no one on earth more generous and thoughtful.
Well, I just don't know how to thank yo enough for that beautiful traveling bag. Replacing the one that I lost during my vacation. It is on exact duplicate-something I though I'd never have again. Believe me, this one will never be out of my sight. It will be a reminder fo you and your thoughtfulness.
Some of the sentences that our beloved Jun has written are funnier when quoted out of context:
"There is no set of rules, of what may appeal to reorders, may not appeal to others." -- p. 24
"Judgment is not unlike tact in its results; but whereas tact seems more or less instinctive, judgment is based more upon reason makes its decisions in the presence of facts or the light of experience." -- p. 27
"A letter of recommendation that states only the most vague generalities is most likely to have much weight." -- p.31
BTW, I've been taking a look at the site statistics of Sorry English. It seems a lot of visitors drop by my blog looking for serious guidance on English writing! They come from Google searching for phrases like:
- sample + adjustment letter + business
- 7 c's of communication
- define modern business
- modern business letter
- complementary close
- how to write business Dinner invitation letter
I hope these guys don't actually follow Mr Reyes' advice!
Does Merriam & Webster really send letters like this?
From Page 79:
My dear Mr. Velasco:
Hold it!
Don't file me in that handsome wastebasket beside your desk. Its crowded, and I don't like crowds.
Not under that file of mails on your desk.
Its crowded, and I don't like crowds.
Not under that file of mails on your desk either.
I couldn't breathe -- and I like to breathe and keep active.
What else, do I like?
I like checks and I like paper clips, and I like action. So just make out a check, fasten it to me with paper clip and mail us, now, to Merriam & Webster Bookstore.
On pages 66-68, Mr Reyes provided a list of sample text messages "to provide a handy reference of suggested sentiments for many occasions."
Here are few examples:
Christmas: "The largest of stocking would never do to hold all my wishes this Christmas for you, all my love on Christmas those whose love has always meant so much to me."
Birthday: "The best of everything to you, today and always."
Confirmation: "You are now a Christian. Congratulations!" (Ummm.... don't you become a Christian when you are baptized, or when you personally accept JC as your Lord and savior?)
Congratulations: "So happy for you. The best really you are!" (Like Yoda the Reyes be...)
Valentine's Day: "All my love who is the dearest of valentines to me today and always."
Sample Letter of Acceptance to a Dinner Invitation
This speaks for itself (from page 38):
Dear Ralph Andrew,
Your invitation, with the warmth of friendship that is contained, was one of the pleasantest things that ever came my way.
Of course, I accept, and thank you so much. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Give my regards to the rest of your family. It will be wonderful to see everybody again and to have such opportunity to "make up."
I look eagerly of seeing you next Sunday.
Very sincerely yours,
Rachel Ann
BTW, Ralf Andrew and Rachel Ann are Jun Urbano Reyes' grandchildren.
"Adjustment complaints can be viewed as an opportunity to satisfy a customer who can be temporarily to dissatisfied and thereby make probable continued pleasant relations."
-- Business Correspondence, p. 23
To be honest, I didn't know what an "adjustment complaint" was, so I searched the web and found these definitions:
complaint letters -- request compensation for problems with purchases or services
adjustment letters -- responses to complaint letters.
OK, so those definitions were clear., and Mr. Reyes was probably referring to an adjustment letter. But I couldn't find the specific phrase "adjustment complaint" anywhere.
Sorry for disappearing for so long. Apparently Blogdrive is banned in Mainland China... the Communist Party's superproxy prevented me from accessing my account.
Today's quote is about Modern Business. Page 23 opens with a a description of this phenomenon:
"Modern business is a mechanism of the most complicated thing... For this reasons of such vast mechanism there is a need for a business to be carefully organized and skillfully controlled."
So, what "thing" does he refer to, of which modern business is a mechanism? And what is a vast mechanism?
Why this Blog: As a Filipino engineer working for a Hong Kong accounting firm, there isn't much I can do about the declining English competence among my compatriots. Nor can I hope to single-handedly rescue the Philippine education system from the cesspool that it's in. So instead, I have decided to blog and poke fun at one of the perpetrators of bad English in the Philippines -- Mr Jun Urbano Reyes of Our Lady of Fatima University.
I picked up my wife's copy of "Business Correspondence" by Jun Urbano Reyes, and I laughed so loud it started me blogging. (My wife was given that book to use in the English class she teaches. Instead, she gave the book to me in disgust.)
In his acknowledgments, the good Mr Reyes gave "Special thanks to Mr Giovanni Sy that good looking guy and owner of Merriam Webster whose 'words of wisdom' gave me more confidence to come up with it."
Thank you, too, Mr Sy, for publishing this hilarious book.
What is "Any other else?"
I got the phrase from another great Engrish teacher, Ms C. She was my English teacher in 3rd year high school at Xavier. She'd use the phrase instead of "anything else?", and my friend D and I would keep a running total of the number of times she made this particularly irritating linguistic faux pas.
Click on "Any other else?" to leave a comment on my blog entry.
